The Things That Perplex, Astonish, and Mystify Us About Our New Home

There is more than one way to skin a cat. To each his own. You say "to-may-to", I say "to-mah-to". Viva la difference.

We expect to encounter differences when we travel outside our normal safety zone. The trick is to experience these differences objectively, without passing judgment.

This post is not meant to pass judgment on the methods used by the British or to imply that the American way is the best way (at least, not ALL of the time), but to share some of these difference with our friends who may never have a chance to experience them first hand.

We have also discovered that by encountering these difference, we are forced to ask ourselves, "Is that how we do it in the US?" You would think we would already know the answer to that question but, really, do you know how many watts are required to pop your popcorn in the microwave? More on that later.


The House
I have gotten lots of questions about the house. The truth is, I really like it. It is small but it doesn't seem as small as I expected. We may all feel differently about that when our shipment arrives!

Here are some of the oddities of British home making. (Click on any picture and that picture will open in a larger window.)




The Front Door
Take a look at this picture and see if you can figure out what is missing.

There is no door knob. This is our third British home in 11 years and the second to have no door knob. I'm not sure what this is all about but we have learned to be really careful when we leave because the door automatically locks behind us! Oh, yes. There could be big problems with this in our future but Kevin is thrilled that he doesn't have to make sure the door is locked every night!



The Microwave
Instead of just selecting your cook time, with this microwave, you have to select your cooking wattage as well. OK...get real. I can handle directions like 50% power, but wattage? I couldn't begin to guess how to scale a watt. Is 50 watts the same as 50% power? As if cooking isn't hard enough for me already, I'm going to have to visit Google before I can use the microwave!





The Oven
Just as I was beginning to get used to our new convection oven at home, here we go with this contraption. This oven dial has symbols instead of words. This might be OK if I understood the symbols. I don't even know what the symbol directly above the knob means. There is another knob on the other side that has exactly the same symbol above it that presumably operates the grill/toaster oven thingie. If they both have the same symbol, how do I know which one works what? All I need is ONE button that says ON.


The Doors
Fire code requires that all doors to rooms be on springed hinges. This has been my family's biggest complaint. Taylor has almost been concussed by her door. Imagine walking out of your room then turning around to get something you forgot and, BAM, there's your door.

These doors seem a little like those alarm things that we, in The Woodlands, are required to have on our back door if we have a pool. They only stay on the back door long enough to pass inspection then they are tossed. Our work around for the closing door problem is to prop them all open with door stops. Fire code, my eyeball.

The Washing Machine
I am no domestic diva but I know how to use a washing machine...most of the time. The washing machines here are much smaller than what we are have in the US, but that was no surprise to us. What I didn't remember was the temperature settings. Again, instead of just saying cold, warm, and hot, this washing machine expects me to know exactly what temperature is needed to wash my clothes...in Celsius! The Celsius part would be easy, thanks to www.convert-me.com, but I don't know what temp to choose in Fahrenheit!


The Dryer
The dryer's settings are easier to work but, get this...it works by evaporation! It is called a condenser dryer and I didn't even know they existed until we first moved to the UK in 1998.


Unlike a standard, tumble dryer known and loved by most Americans, this dryer does not vent air outside. Instead, the heat of the dryer causes the water to evaporate and collect in a tray that must be emptied after every wash.

As a tribute to my greater age and maturity, this isn't as big of a deal as it was in the past. Maybe I was just better prepared. Maybe it is because we have not gotten all of our stuff yet and have fewer clothes to wash!



The Toilet
When I first saw the toilet I thought, "Hmm. It must be a PC since it has a left AND right click." (If that makes sense to you then you, too, are a geek.) Why are there two flush buttons? We tried them both and they seemed to do the same thing. Our landlord visited this week and explained that the two buttons are meant for water conservation. The big button is for a full flush and the small button is for a half flush. Enough said on that topic.


I haven't mentioned anything about electricity in this post but the topic is on our minds. This, as well as other strange things that we encounter, may be included in future blog posts. Ryan and Taylor have also been added as contributors so expect to hear from them soon...I hope!

A Visit To Camden Market

Based on what I've seen so far, I seriously doubt that anyone who lives in London is aware that London is purported to be a fashion epicenter. Today, however, we discovered a part of London that certainly has plenty of unique style. It is true that Camden Market's style leans more towards cabaret than runway but we strapped on our emotional corsets and fish-nets and allowed ourselves to be swept away into the world of Camden Market.

Our trip began on the Northern Line of the London Underground into the tiny Camden Town station. We had arranged to meet up with Taylor's friend Kate and Kate's mother at the station but began to wonder at the wisdom of those plans when we saw the herds of people who were shoulder to shoulder as we all attempted to exit through the turnstiles.

Shuffling out of the station, I noticed a beautiful yellow Labrador being led on leash by a man in a dark blue shirt. I snidely whispered to Ryan, "I hope that isn't a drug sniffing dog. If it is, I bet he is going to be very tired at the end of his day."

Guess what?

It was a drug sniffing dog which made our first Camden experience observing multiple drug busts. We waited for our friends and watched with fascination as the sweet dog alertly sniffed everyone then, when he found his mark, circle around the criminal, wrapping him up in his leash. The officer would then calmly ask the mark to step to the side for a word with his colleague. All very calm and reasonable...at least from our point of view!

When Kate arrived, Kevin and Jackson decided to forgo the shopping and head to the Imperial War Museum. I can't imagine why! We girls dove straight into the shopping chaos.

Camden Market started out as a craft market in 1974 but very few things on display now would qualify as a craft (except maybe witchcraft!). The market consists of a mixture of stalls and shops with the stalls primarily open on the weekends. Many things about the market reminded us of Canton (not the witchcraft part).

One of the focal points of the market is the Camden Locks, a twin manually-operated lock on the Regent's Canal. (Source) Apparently, an American Express commercial starring Kate Winslet was filmed on this site. I just enjoyed seeing a working lock for the first time.

As we explored the stalls and browsed through the shops, we discovered an unexpected area of the market, Camden Stables. This section of Camden is a converted Victorian horse hospital complete with cobblestone alleyways and underground tunnels. This was much more to our particular tastes with many vintage shops including several antique stores that carried some beautiful pieces of antique technology. If we had traveled in the car rather than on the train, I would have added an Imperial typewriter to my collection and maybe a few cameras! Of course, that gives us a great excuse to go back.

Our day ended with an early dinner at a local restaurant called Pier 1 where we enjoyed the best fish and chips that we have had so far.

We completely enjoyed our day at Camden Market and highly recommend a visit there for anyone who can handle the crowds and is prepared to experience the other side of London.

The Cars

While the kids and I were sleeping through jet-lag on Thursday, Kevin went into work for a few hours. He came home with a car. A very loud and fast Nissan Skyline (Kevin insists I add that it is a R33 twin turbo). I'm not up on cars but Ryan says it is very cool and she knows cars! This Nissan is straight from Japan (sorry Shirley) so all the words are in Japanese. Thank goodness there are also symbols on everything or operating the GPS would be even more difficult than usual.


Saturday morning, again while the kids and I were sleeping, Kevin went out to run a few errands and came back with another car, this one for me. A Land Rover Freelander. No twin turbo here but it is an automatic transmission which is not very common. Hmmm...do you think that Kevin has concerns about my ability to drive on the left AND shift gears? Hey, I'm a born and bred Texan. I can drive anything!

Kevin does a decent job driving on the left, with one slightly hysterical incident yesterday when he attempted to enter an exit ramp. I drove today for the first time and did fine but it wasn't far and I only encountered one roundabout. We keep telling Ryan that she has to drive at least one time before she leaves but she isn't sure that is a good idea. She is a very careful driver so I think she will do fine!

From Houston to Heathrow

The last days leading up to our July 1st move went by with startling speed. I had forgotten how hard moving can be, particularly moving overseas. We never would have made it as well as we did without the help of our family and friends.

I am not one who easily asks for help but with less than a week to go before our move, I relented and called my sister. She will know better than to offer her help in the future! She arrived at our house at 8 am the next morning with the seats removed from her van, determined that she could fit everything in our house in the back of her van! We worked hard all day, reorganizing our storage buildings then moving things into them.

Later that night, the rest of my rescue team arrived in the form of my mom, grandmother and step-dad. We worked really hard but we also had some fun. I'll spare you all the details but we have a new family joke. If you need to move something big, just call Tricia. She can fit it in the back of her van. It will fit. Yes, it will. See? The picture proves it. That is the bottom of my Dyson vacuum, shoved up into a huge floor lamp, squeezed between two pieces of a five piece Thomasville entertainment center. Yeah, it fit but the van may need new shocks!

Even with all the work we have done in the past few months (and all the teasing I got about how early I started packing), when the airport car arrived at its scheduled time, we were NOT ready! I cannot even describe how NOT ready we were! Our neighbors were patiently waiting outside to send us off and the cleaning lady was already doing the final cleaning and I was still trying to convince Jackson that he didn't need to take all of his PSP games in his carry-on since his PSP was broken! The girls tried to hurry us along by dragging all of our luggage out to the driveway but I still had things to check and double-check.

Finally, I was alone in the house with the cleaning lady, trying to build up the courage to walk out the door. The little Hispanic woman (whom I have never met) said two words, "It's hard," and I burst into tears. I grabbed a box of tissues that hadn't been packed and headed out the door. There on my driveway was a bon voyage brigade the likes of which have only ever been seen on TV. Our friends and neighbors, whom we have come to think of as family, were waiting patiently, in the Texas heat, to bid us farewell. I'm glad I had the tissues!

While we were sad, our driver was in shock. Lucky for all of us, Kevin had warned them that we would be packing a full load so they brought a conversion van instead of the standard airport Lincoln or limo. Still, it was a trick to get all of our luggage in. It's a shame we didn't have Tricia's van.

At the airport, we reaped the rewards of Kevin's elevated BA flying status. Wait in line? Not us! We went straight to the desk and checked in 12 bags with only one being over the 51 pound limit. (Yes, it was mine, weighing in at 58 pounds but I weighed the suitcase after it was emptied and it weighed 17 pounds!)

We should have checked in 13 bags, but, at the last minute, Kevin decided to make one a carry-on. Too bad he didn't check the contents first! We had all been diligent about checking our carry-on bags for liquids and had appropriate items, down to lipgloss, bagged for security. But, what was in that newly-turned-carryon bag? All of our shampoo, bath gels, hand soap, hand santizer, etc. It all went into the garbage. I'm sure there is a life lesson there if you dig deep enough.

The plane ride was completely uneventful with Kevin riding in first class while the kids and I slummed in Club World. It has been four years since our last International flight together and I had forgotten how hard it is for my family to sit still. The next time we fly together, I'm going to do some hard negotiating for Kevin's first class seat. I think I'll get it!

Major Updates

I don't have much time for a FULL update so here is a short blurb on the major things...

Major Update #1:

The Fortune's will be leaving for the UK, Wednesday, July 1! For those who have been secretly keeping score in the "He Said/She Said" game, that would be a point in the Tiffani column (insert evil laughter here).

Major Update #2:

We have a contract on our house! Just as we were approaching two months on the market, the offers started rolling in. We ended up getting THREE offers over the course of around two days with one buyer being smart enough to offer the full asking price. With nothing EVER being as easy as it should be, we were out of town for my birthday and Father's Day and our Realtor was on vacation in Jamaica, so the deal was done primarily via text message!

In a strange series of events, I got to meet the buyers (a lovely young couple from Pennsylvania) and she told me that she knew when they first came into the neighborhood that this would be a great neighborhood for them. Since this is the best neighborhood in the world, I would say she has excellent taste!

More to come!

A Week Has Passed and I Still Know Who I Am...

The promised identity crisis has not yet occurred. We have been out of school for one week and I don't feel any different. What I mean is it feels like just an ordinary summer. I think there may be something wrong with that.

Last Friday, June 5, my last official day of work, was such a busy day that I didn't have too much time to be sad. My "To Do" list was long and filled with examples of my OCD tendencies. Thanks to some help from my team, I was able to complete most of the items on the list but must confess that I brought home about 3 boxes of manuals and 2 cases of files to sort and reorganize. Well, what can I say?

Throughout the day, many of my colleagues stopped by to wish me good luck and try to make me cry but I was tough. I hate saying goodbye and this time it seems so much harder. These ladies have been my friends, mentors, models, supporters, comic relief, and sometimes my primary source of aggravation. I have spent time with each of them privately and within their teams and have the greatest amount of respect, love and admiration for them all.

But I held my tears until the only other remaining bodies in the building were the destruction crew. My emotional strength disappeared as I pulled my class schedule off the wall and locked the door for the last time. I had the painful thought that this closing door symbolizes the pre-mature ending of an important and meaningful season of my life. I was tempted to open the door back up and slam it really hard but decided that didn't reflect very well on my level of maturity.

This is just the beginning of a series of goodbyes and I expect that each will be difficult in its own way. The whole thing would be so much harder if not for the support of my family. For example, every time I leave to see someone "for the last time", Taylor says, "Don't forget to wear water-proof mascara." Ah, such profound words of wisdom from one so young!


PS. I was going to write a little about my replacements but it just doesn't seem to be the right place. I'm very excited about them, though, so plan on seeing them featured in the near future!

Time to Clean Out the Freezer

With our time in Texas coming to an end, I decided that it might be time to start cleaning out the freezer. It's just a little freezer. How long can it take?

It turns out that a freezer is like a woman's purse. The inside is about 3 times larger than the outside. Where did this stuff come from? I don't like to cook and hate the grocery store so I'm perplexed but I have to figure out what to do with it all.

So...you are going to help find some ideas for making kid-friendly meals in the easiest ways possible, preferably with around 5 ingredients! No exotic food (that's to you, Carol) and we clearly are not vegetarians, so spare us the lentils and tofu.

Here are the contents of our freezer:

7 lbs. catfish fillets
2.4 lbs ground chuck
1 lb bacon
11 lbs boneless, skinless chicken breasts
3 lbs smoked sausage
1 lb Jimmy Dean sausage
1 pkg Litl Smokies
2 boxes meatballs
2 fillet Mignon
3 lbs beef sirloin fillets
3.5 lbs beef strip loin
1.5 lbs ground beef patties
3.5 lbs hot dogs
5 lbs boneless pork chops
5 mini hot dogs
3 lbs frozen broccoli
3 lbs corn
1 bag steamed rice
1/2 bag chicken fries
5 lbs golden crinkles
4 lbs pizza rolls
2 boxes taquitos
1 pie crust
3 bags dinner rolls
2 lbs steam-N-mash
1 tray rolls

Feel free to post your suggestions as comments or send them via email...tiffanifortune@yahoo.com.

Thanks! Next week, cleaning out the pantry!!!

Kingston upon Thames

Some info on our new town...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kingston_upon_Thames
http://www.kingston.gov.uk/default.htm

An Eye Twitch

Some of my favorite literary heroines get eye twitches during stressful events. I always thought this twitch was one of those tools authors use to spice up their writing, for example, rather than say, "He walked in the door and she got mad," it sounds more interesting to say, "He walked in the door and her eye began to twitch."

Lately, every time I hear the word "move", my left eye twitches. It twitches really bad when I type the word "move". I can hardly see right now. We may have to come up with a euphemism for move. (twitch, twitch)

After much debate and massive input from friends and family (which was mostly ignored), Kevin has chosen a house. Just as you may suspect, I am saying that KEVIN chose the house so that if I hate it, I can blame him. He is completely aware of this and I am expecting him to develop his own eye twitch any day now.

Drum roll, please....

Kevin chose the house in Kingston Upon Thames. That would be the 3rd house on our list. The little house. The one that is only 1635 square feet. The one that is closest to his job.

Being close to Kevin's job is a good idea but I don't know where we are going to put all of our stuff. We decided that the last time we lived in a place this small was when we lived in New Jersey (the 2nd time), around 12 years ago. Not only is there one more of us now, we are ALL bigger than we were then and we have SOOOO much more stuff!

But, being close to Kevin's job will mean that he is with us more, and that is very important. After all, if he had to spend 2 or more hours commuting every day, it would almost defeat the point of us moving there. Hmmmm....It is probably best to avoid that line of thinking.

We have not yet sold our current house (twitch, twitch) but we decided that we are going to leave the US the last week of June anyway. Our very small house in England will be ready for us July 1, so we may as well get going.

Speaking of our current house, I really want to know who in this world willingly makes their bed every morning? I am seriously considering moving our bedroom furniture into storage and throwing down some sleeping bags just to get out of making that bed every day. It is a huge bed but I don't really think it would matter. It's just not something I want to do first thing every day. It's like starting every day in the most boring way possible. What kind of day can you look forward to when it starts out like that?

And it really isn't all that easy to keep the house in "show condition" all the time. Any of the time. Ever.

Kevin and I have the same cleaning disorder, the one where the more we clean, the messier everything gets. Kevin spent most of the weekend "cleaning" the garage (ie., examining every item in the garage that he either forgot he owned or never knew he owned, cleaning it with the proper tools, disassembling it then throwing it away or giving it to Chris) while I spent most of the weekend further cleaning the office (ie., making sure that the 4 boxes of files that we are storing are all chronologically and alphabetically ordered and that all file folders have labels that are printed in the same font, Georgia 14, just like this blog).

I wonder why it takes us so long to get stuff done? Do you think the people who viewed the house today will understand why the disgusting toilet brush was soaking in the bathtub? I forgot to hide it because I found more folders to label!

OK, so I may have a twitching eye and hair that is falling out but, darn it, if we ever get audited by the IRS, they are going to be very impressed with my filing system!

What Did She Say?

Teenagers. Grrrrr....I can't understand a word my daughter says. If she isn't mumbling, she's talking faster than the speed of light. Even when she does speak in an audible voice and at a normal rate, most of the time, she still doesn't make sense.

This morning, some time before 6 am, as I am denying that it is time to get up, the teenager in question comes roaring into our bedroom in a panic. "The power went out!", she shouts and runs out of the room.

Rolling over, I mumbled to Kevin, "What did she say? The power is out? It can't be out. The lights are on."

Kevin grunts.

As the teenager continues her panicked rant (No power means no flat iron. No flat iron means no perfect hair. No perfect hair means bad day for all.), I stumble across the landing and into the kid's apartment. Sure enough, a flip of the switch confirms her story. There is no power on that side of the house.

Teenager continues flailing around while I stumble back to my room to get Kevin to check the breaker box. While I'm dragging Kevin out the bed, teenager decides to be proactive and fix the breaker herself. The door opens, shuts and then opens again a few seconds later.

I shouted down the stairs, "Dad will fix it," and heard her shout back very calmly, "Good. There's a possum in the pool."

What? "Kevin, did she say there was a possum in the pool?" Kevin grunts.

Maybe my brain just delivered the wrong translation. "What?" I shouted.

"A-possum-in-the-pool," she over-articulates, slowly, as if I am dim as well as deaf.

I trip down the stairs, still half asleep, and peek out the window. (I'm no idiot. I won't go outside until I do a little recon.)

Guess what? There was a possum in the pool. Here is the pictorial proof.

Mother's Day 2009

Happy Mother's Day!

Since Kevin has been in London for 2 weeks and just returned last night, today is an even more rewarding Mother's Day. What better gift could I have than being able to say, "Go ask your dad."?

OK, there is one better gift. Some time alone. Just me, alone at home, with the dog and all my favorite toys. Doesn't that sound wonderful?

Men and kids don't understand this desire to be alone, though. They had planned to take me to see the new Star Trek movie which they know I want to see. (This is much better than the year they took me bowling. Bowling? Does that sound like something I would want to do on Mother's Day?) Going to the movies is a good idea but do you know who else goes to the movies on Mother's Day? Right, other families. Families = kids = lots of little people that I probably know. I adore all my students but I don't really want to hang out with them on Mother's Day. Got the picture?

So, I sent Kevin and the kids off to the movies and decided to spend this quiet time blogging (and bragging) about my Mother's Day gift.

My hubby has a very strong desire to buy me jewelry for every event. Since I don't wear much jewelry (don't even have my wedding ring on right now), and since he and I have very different tastes in jewelry, I placed a "NO Jewelry" restriction on all gifts a few years ago. Instead of abiding by my wishes, he has made it his life's endeavor to "fairly" circumvent the rules. Sneaky man.


This year, my Mother's Day gift is not jewelry, oh no, no breaking the rules in this family. It is a flash drive. Can he help it that the flash drive is encased in a beautiful Swarovsky encrusted, heart-shaped pendant? It is tech, NOT jewelry. Whatever. It's a pretty darn good gift!


This is not the first non-jewelry gift I have gotten. It seems we may have started a trend. The first was also a pendant and much more girly.




As my previous blog posts have shown, I am not the only one who enjoys interesting gadgets, though. Kevin finds plenty of opportunities to sate his desire for the unseen, unusual, and sometimes useless! His poker buddies are never far from his mind when he keeps this poker chip USB drive in his pocket. We are all waiting for the time when he will try to play it!

One more Mother's Day is almost behind us and I have another gift planned for myself tonight. When Kevin and the kids get home from the movies, I'm sending them to do the grocery shopping! See, Kevin, I can be sneaky, too!

A Place to Live

No, we haven't sold our house yet but we have already started shopping for a house in London. This evening, while I was still trying sleep off the remainders of a whopping migraine, Kevin called and gave Taylor the latest "perfect house". This is the 3rd perfect house that Kevin has found.

The first perfect house is/was a bungalow in Weybridge. I like the house just fine and it is close to one of the schools on our list and a reasonable trip on the train to Kevin's office. Kevin, however isn't really WOW'd by the house so he continues the search.

The second house was a surprising find but quickly went to the top of my list. It is located in the town of Leatherhead. (Any of you old guys listen to the group called The Choir back in the 80s? "Walking down Kingston Road, in the little town of Leatherhead. Guess I'm on my own, though I will never be alone..." Yes, it is THAT Leatherhead!)

This house has 5 bedrooms and is bigger than others in our price range, but still not as big as our current house. Kevin's trip would be a little longer and we might have to re-prioritize our school list but at least all of our stuff will fit in it!


Today, Kevin's latest perfect house made me roll my eyes at first but it has some redeeming points. On the down side, it is tiny. Only 1635 square feet. That is almost half the size of our current house. On the up side, it is really, REALLY close to Kevin's work.



What do you think? Click on each picture to discover more information about each house and give us your opinion.

How Many Google Searches Does it Take to Clean Out the Garage?

We all hate articles that begin with disclaimers but, for the health of my marriage, I must make one. I met my husband in 1974 and my life has never been the same, which is true since I don't really remember much of life before then. We have been married for 16 years and I have never loved him as much as I do right now.

But, alas, he has let me down. It's all about the garage. Remember the picture from a previous post? The Sandford and Sons garage? Yes, Kevin is both Sandford and his son.

Earlier this week, with our Open House quickly approaching and Kevin in London, I decided to take on the garage. That's right, just me and the garage. Winner takes all. The story goes something like this...

Prologue...In the married people world the word "our" has many meanings. By virtue of being husband and wife, officially, everything is "ours". Our house, our mortgage, our bills, our furniture, etc. But we all know better than that, right? For example, everyone within a 200 mile radius understands that when I say "our office", I really mean "my office". The same goes for "our boat"...the boat that I have only seen one time and have no idea where it is currently located. Definitely "his".

It probably goes without saying that "our garage" is really a space that belongs to Kevin. I think the only thing out there that can be considered real community property is the freezer. And, no, our cars don't fit in the garage.

Chapter 1: Everything in its place - The process for moving overseas starts with analyzing every possession in order to determine its future. What is going with us, what is going into storage and what is just going. The first sweep is mostly stuff that needs to go. But where do you put all your "stuff" when your house goes on the market? In the past, we have used the guest room or the office as a dumping ground but can't do that this time. I guess that is how the garage got so stuffed.

Or, maybe not. Maybe the truth is that we just own too much crap and are way too disorganized to handle it all.

So, to get control of the garage, I needed to apply an analytical strategy. How hard can this be? It's a square space, after all, so grab the graph paper and the measuring tape and lets get it done.

Chapter 2: What is it? - So maybe it isn't going to be that easy. I started to get a sense of why Kevin was avoiding this job. It's totally overwhelming. What IS this stuff? How can I organize it if I don't know what it is?

A plan! A plan! I need a plan!

The Plan
Step one: Line up and label boxes by category.
Step two: Decide which category an item belongs in and place in correct box.

OK. That's a good start. Hmmmm....if it is Benelli, Beretta, Winchester or Remington, it goes into the "gun stuff" box. But what about this thing (brand new) that is Remington brand but says it is a dehumidifier? Better go look that one up. Turns out, it is a dehumidifier for a gun safe. I guess it is fair to assume that the big safe looking thing on the wall is a gun safe. Wonder what's in it?

Moving on, all the fishing stuff goes into the "fishing stuff" box. Should I make different boxes for fly fishing, bass fishing, off-shore fishing, crab fishing, etc.? What about fishing clothing? Would he notice if I donated all those hideous, old man, Columbia fishing shirts? What about the vests that he insists on wearing with those lame Gilligan hats? Maybe not. I think my grandfather gave him some of those hats and I can't part with those.

Where do I put this thing? It looks like a scuba diving regulator. When was the last time Kevin went diving? Better put that in a box by itself.

Down toward the bottom of the pile, we discovered the golf stuff. Are those MY golf clubs? OMG, where did all these golf balls come from? Has Kevin been secretly scuba diving in the water hazards?

PAINT! How much paint does one family need? We have 18 gallons, 17 quarts and 21 cans of spray paint. Yikes! Anyone need some paint?

Chapter 3: Deciding when to give up - After 3 trips to the storage building and only 2 hours before our open house, I decided it was time to be satisfied with the mess being just a little less messy and throw in the towel. We still couldn't get a car in but at least we can get our bikes out. Plus, I now know what is in the garage, sort of.

Chapter 4: Confession-I really hate to admit that there was a lot of yelling happening during this whole story. That would be me yelling at anyone brave enough to pass in front of me. The kids have had enough experience with my moments to know that the wise thing to do is stay out of target range but I feel a little bad for the guy who was showing the house. Well, maybe he appreciates his own wife a little more after listening to me rail.

Epilogue: There is still much work to be done on the garage but I think I will leave it for when Kevin comes home. I wonder if he will notice that it looks a little different. I wonder if he will mind.

Jackson suggested that we put it all back the way it was before he comes home. That boy has an evil mind.

Second Showing

After only five full days on the market, we had our first second showing today. Isn't that exciting? Even though I don't really want to move, it is a crazy kind of emotional boost to know that someone really likes our house.

Our whole family has done an amazing job of keeping the house clean. I can't believe it. Even though we have added several steps to our morning routine, I was almost on time to work today! Of course, it is Monday. By Friday, I'll be dashing in the door just in time to start morning announcements! Thank goodness for that front row parking that we bought at Springetti.

But do not think that the Fortune's have completely gone over to the clean side. While the inside of the house is the perfect blend of the neat and comfortable, the garage remains a more accurate illustration of the Fortune philosophy on house work. And I don't exaggerate. Here's the proof:


What can I say? We like to keep it real around here and it doesn't get more real than this!

The Sign is Up!

The For Sale sign went up Friday afternoon and it already seems as though the house is no longer ours.

We have had several showings so we should feel good about that. I'm a little sad, though. I love our house, particularly now that it is so clean. We have been very happy here and it is painful to think of starting over...again.

It is natural to experience ups and downs during a life change and today has certainly been a down. This week, I'm going to make a real effort to be more positive about this move and try to have some fun, yes, FUN! No cleaning or packing and maybe I will even challenge myself to have fun without a computer. I wonder if that is possible. Maybe bowling! Or laser tag. I've never done laser tag but have always wanted too.

Of course, there is always shoe shopping which is a guaranteed mood enhancer. Hmmm...Zappos, I think.

Is carpet supposed to crunch?

We got new carpet a couple of weeks ago. Our carpet was the most disgusting carpet I have ever seen but I didn't see the point in replacing it just so the cat could have a landing pad for his next explosive fur ball demonstration. Our Realtor, Deb, convinced me that the house would show better sans enormous fur ball stains and so began the project.

My older sister always says that I got the good hair in the family, which is true. She's almost bald and I have really great hair. Unfortunately, she got all the domestic genes. I simply can't deal with most domestic matters and picking out carpet has never registered the tiniest blip on my "do before you die" radar. My mother was unlucky enough to be visiting on the day that the carpet sales people came so I had the opportunity to prove that you are never too old to embarrass your parents. Bless those sales people. They had no idea what they were about to encounter.

Does anyone really know how many different colors of white there are? If I had known that I had to pick out a COLOR, I wouldn't have opened the door. Then, when my response to "What color do you want?" was "I don't care." they didn't believe me. The guy opens up a gigantic book with all these tiny carpet squares in varying hues and depth and then starts talking about padding. WHAT? My before-10am decision making skills were already used up on the color question. I had nothing left to give they guy. He was just going to have to figure it out for himself. Can I go play video games now?

It was definitely time to draw the line. I politely (although not according to mom) interrupted Mr. Salesman to convince him that I really did not care. Really. I don't. Just get it close to what it is now but without the fur ball stains.

After a few moments of confused silence and a random point at one of the carpet squares, a color had been chosen. It was time to do the measuring. He pulled out the graph paper and I felt a little flutter in my heart. Now THIS is something I can help with! I'm great with graph paper and a measuring tape. Sadly, they didn't need my help and were confident that they could handle their own graph paper.

Skipping forward to the end of this intriguing story, the carpet is now beautifully installed and the cat has been relocated to a new home where he can spend the rest of his days on hard wood floors.

My question...Is new carpet supposed to crunch in random places? No one seems to know. Jackson thinks that the installers helped themselves to his Flamin' Hot Cheetos and dropped some in random places around the house. Instead of picking them up, they just installed the carpet on top of them. After all, that's what Jackson would do!

Calm before the storm?

It is oddly calm around our house tonight. For the first time in weeks, I actually COOKED dinner tonight. It seems like we are in a holding pattern for now and I am planning on enjoying it! Maybe we should start by celebrating Jackson's birthday...which was 3 weeks ago!

The house goes on the market in the morning. We have all made predictions on when it will sell. I'm the most optimistic of the group, which is unusual and a little unsettling.

Kevin has been a real trooper since coming back from his trip. It is amazing how much he has been able to accomplish in such a short amount of time. He told me to stop telling people that he was helping to make the bed every morning, though. Apparently, making the bed is not a very manly thing to do!

Fingers crossed for tomorrow!

The First Post

Welcome to our new blog which will chronicle our move from The Woodlands, Texas to London, England. Since most of our friends have kept up with our lives until this point, we are going jump right in as if we have been blogging all along.

Today, the Realtor came to take pictures of the house. Hopefully we can get the house on the market tomorrow but it may be Thursday. We aren't really worried, though. It is a great house in a fabulous neighborhood in the service area of the best elementary school in Texas...and I mean that! Our neighborhood epitomizes the urban family, except in the suburbs, and our elementary school has the ratings and awards that back up my high opinion.

Now that the house is finally clean and ready for showing, I feel like we can relax a little. There is still work to be done but we won't be doing any more packing for now. The hardest thing will be making sure we leave the house in order every morning. We are off to a good start, though, with all beds in the house made this morning. Kevin and I even made our bed together this morning! It felt oddly satisfying to do something so domestic together considering that neither of us possess a dominant domestic gene. Made me feel all warm inside.

The reality that the school year is racing to an end is causing some serious emotional distress for me. Today, I got all teary-eyed during recess when one of my 3rd graders told me how much she is going to miss me next year. They have no idea how much I am going to miss them.

But it is too soon for the sad stuff (even though I just had to grab a box of tissues). There is much work to be done yet.

I need an emotional boost so I think I'll go do some shoe shopping. I've got my eye on a pair of pink Louboutin sandals and some Ed Hardy rain boots. Zappos, here I come!